peer pressure

“You need to get out there.”

Fuck you.

I can’t believe how insensitive my peers can be when it comes to the fact that I am not working.

I just called a friend of mine who just got back from Copenhagen where he spent the summer studying to say hey and let him know I’m glad he’s back. He sounded appalled that I didn’t have a job yet after having graduated this spring. Since I hadn’t been working, he wanted to know what tangible thing I had done with my time instead.

I’ve encountered this line of questioning and heard the disgust in the tone of my peers time and time again. It seems that many (about half) of them think they have a right to judge my choices and actions on the fact that we went to school together, and are therefore similarly qualified for work.

I have come to believe that there are only two acceptable responses to interrogations from my peers regarding my work situation:

1. The “I’m working really hard at it” line:
I feel compelled to list all of the things I have done since graduation and why, to prove that I have worked hard. However, it is nearly impossible to do this in any reasonable amount of time in thorough detail, so inevitably it turns into a session of listening to patronizing, unsolicited advice (this is the hard of the issue, since clearly to all of these folks if I have really been trying I would be working, right? Obviously I’m some kind of idiot.) Unfortunately, the only thing that is polite in this situation is to smile, say thanks, and listen while trying not to seem as irritated as I feel.

2. The “I don’t give a fuck” line:
This one works a little better. I act like I have been just taking it easy and enjoying myself, decidedly becoming the waste-of-life that I am perceived to be. Life’s a beach, dude, and the surf’s up.

I have learned an enormous amount during the past two and a half months, and I have come back to a place of equilibrium after being wound up in a challenging thesis project for the past year. My confidence is constantly being tested, if not by the process of finding a job, by the people who doubt my judgment. However, I still believe in me… and for those who don’t… go fuck yourselves.